Monday, July 23, 2007

Search Engine Wrong Numbers for Mid-July

The Little counter gizmo I got from has provided me hours of fun this week. By looking at the random ways that people find my site, I have learned a lot. For starters, there was the Kangaroo Pantry incident, but since then there have been another several visitors that have surprised me. I will call them Search Engine Wrong Numbers.

Search Engine Wrong Number #1 was a search for "Ham Sandwich Parody Libel"

What He Was Probably Looking For: A Story about the Guy Suing the Fox News Channel for running a story about him using a parody news story as their only source.

See, it's like this - The principal at Lewiston Middle School in Lewiston, Maine, a Mr. Levesque, suspended a kid for apparently intentionally placing a ham product of some kind (either a Ham Steak, or a Ham Bone, Depending on your source of info) on a table frequented by some Somali students who, like many Somalis, were Muslim. Muslims, like Jews, believe that Swine are unclean, and should not be associated with at all, much less eaten. So it was very offensive to tease them with pork products, and the kid was given a suspension, because he was being a jerk to some other kids in the lunchroom. Reason enough to suspend a kid, if you ask me.
So some guy on a parody website gets hold of this story, and decides to make fun of the principal for his perceived overreaction. Then the $%@#-offs over at Fox & Friends decide to run the story written on the parody website as real news. All of the "Quotes" that fox attributes to the principal were completely made up. Here is the YouTube video that compiles all the little blurbs that the program did all morning long, as they flak this principal for things he never said!

Why They Found The Daily Blog of the Day:
My Haiku Movie Review™ of Man of the Year griped about the movie's use of the ancient joke about Mama Cass, Karen Carpenter, and the Ham Sandwich.
My post entitled Outer Redneckia contained the phrase "every single parody of the rural south there is".
My post about the Pantry monitoring me online mentioned the pantry's possible concerns about Libel from disgruntled employees.

I would still be unaware of this story if not for the person who was looking for it finding my site by complete accident instead, It's like my good friend Nietzsche once said:
"When you stare into the Interweb, The Interweb also stares back into you"

Search Engine Wrong Number #2 was for "Dresden Tennessee Dog Fighting Charges". I'm not sure I want to know what that one was about.

Search Engine Wrong Number #3 was for "My Wife Left Me". Some woman trolling the web for newly eligible bachelors, maybe? Sorry, Wrong Number!

And just a Day after I (allegedly) coined the word Testosteriffic™ , Someone found my site using it as a keyword! (About 10 other uses of the word showed up, but none of them had the little "™" after the word, so mine's official.)

Also, I checked and if you Google "Outer Redneckia", I'm the first one on the results page! yay!

However if you Google "Daily Haiku", you don't get my site, but (among others) a Site Called which trash talks the Bush administration with a picture and Haiku every day. It turns out there are a lot of people doing the Daily Haiku thing. Oh well... Here is a Haiku stolen from
I changed the toner
then tried to print a test page.
Turns out, it's a lamp.


JeremyGee said...


Anonymous said...

Hi - I note that "Moe" is winning - thant's because people always want moe.

Frank Gibson said...

Yes, But Like Biggie Said... Moe Money, Moe Problems.