Saturday, July 14, 2007

Outer Redneckia

This morning I drove to the town of Beersheba Springs (Pronounced BURR-shuh-buh) to do some balloon twisting, and on the way there I was treated to an excerpt of the "Johnboy and Billy" radio morning show. The bit was along the lines of "How to know when your girlfriend is from Outer Redneckia, and it was basically a list of "You might be a Redneck if.." jokes a la Jeff Foxworthy.

On the way there, I saw numerous yard sales, and I had some time to kill, so I thought "I'll stop in at the next one". The house I pulled in to next looked promising, until I realized that they weren't having a yard sale, hey just had a bunch of junk lying around in their yard. My journey through Outer Redneckia had begun.

I saw numerous mispelled signs, a Post Office that was a mobile-home style trailer, a number of Permanent Yard Sales, and a store about the size of a 7-11 where you could fill up your tank with gas and buy a couple of candybars, some mandolin strings, archery supplies, a Dale Earnhardt Lamp, get trophies made for your little league tournament, and hey, while you're there anyways, get a couch and a refrigerator.

I saw every single parody of the rural south there is, and yet rather than be embarassed about my redneck homeland, I felt a weird sort of pride in my Simple, Rustic, People. Of course, I didn't see any of the really BAD stuff associated with the South, which DOES cause me to feel shame for my redneck homeland, every single time. Sometimes, however you can laugh right through the shame, because some jokes are just too good to not tell. Like the proud sign outside the Law Office in Winchester, TN. (home of the Franklin County "Rebels", complete with little confederate mascot)

The Sign reads "Lynch, Lynch, and Lynch, Attorneys-at-Law"

Another Write-your-own-punchline, that is....

No Haiku For Now,
I'm Really Kind of Busy.
Please, Check Back Later.


Becca said...

I actually think it's 4 Lynches.

Frank Gibson said...

Yeah, I couldn't remember if it was three or four, so I gave 'em the benefit of the doubt.