Thursday, November 29, 2007

Thoughts on Typefaces, Yellow Pages, and Apples.

Ok, I am experimenting once again with my new editor, composing offline. The good news here is that I can write from home, and I can do some things, layout-wise, that I couldn't do before. Like strikeout words. This is an essential tool for people who want to be moronic ironic, and make it look as though they are searching for precisely specifically exactly the right word. I get excited over the small stuff. I'm a cheap date, what can I say?

The Bad News is that my replacement brain favorite research tool, Google, is not quite as easily available when doing posts offline. If I am really hard pressed for a fact while writing, I do have the ability to use my brain cellphone to find the answer, but I am a bit spoiled by the fact that I usually have my search bar available in the upper right-hand corner of my screen, and if I want to fact-check, or dig a little deeper into something, mid-post, all I have to do is open a new tab and let my fingers do the walking.

For you youngsters: "Let your fingers do the walking" was the advertising slogan for a thing called the "Yellow Pages". You see, way back in the Pre-Google Era, between the years 30 P.G. and 0 P.G., when telephone numbers were still associated with fixed street addresses, The only "search engine" was a big, 42-pound book printed on tissue-thin yellow paper. It had everybody's phone number in the city written down inside it, and you had to physically turn the pages with your fingers. Nowadays, in the Google Dominant (or "G.D.") Era, our fingers don't walk, they take a cab. Or a jet. Soon, our fingers will probably be able to teleport.


Random Thought - If an apple a day keeps The doctor away, what happens if you just eat half an apple? Does it only keep half of a doctor away? Will the disembodied legs of a doctor come after you? If you don't want to be chased by undead doctors, then please, finish that apple!

7 comments:

Potting Woman said...

You only see a doctor every other day. (It averages out) Or if you must be literal, it's the RIGHT side.

I saw a sign you would love.

HUGH
SALE

It would be too hard to pick. I'll take one Laurie, one Jackman and one Grant.

Frank Gibson said...

You're right, I would love to see that sign. It would be right at home here on TDBotD. Too bad I don't have a picture.

If you get a Jackman on Sale, you better snap it up. Grant, on the other hand is probably on clearance after the Divine Brown Incident.

potting woman said...

I'm working on getting you a picture. Some people don't have camera phones.

Art said...

Very funny, Frank. I've rarely used strikeout. The blog police say that we should use it to correct mistakes but, like you, I find that most folks use it to convey irony.

Starting Monday, I will begin to over use strikeouts in you honor;)

Frank Gibson said...

Art, I would use Strikeouts to correct mistakkes, but I doon't evr maek mistsakes.

And there are Blog Police? Oh, Crap- I'm probably in trouble. I'm going to go check to make sure all my posts are buckled up and properly licensed.

Art said...

Frank - the blog police do exist and, yes, we are both in big trouble...

Liz said...

actually, if you only eat half an apple, then you have a couple options. If it's a monday, weds, or Friday, you get a med student. If it's Tues, Thurs or Saturday, you get an actor who has played a doctor (like, say, from a prescription drug comercial, or from ER. Personally, I spend my saturdays eating half an apple and hoping Goran Visinjic will show up...), or if it's Sunday you get a Doctor of Theology.